Usually, I don’t bother with New Years resolutions. I can never come up with anything other than the cliché of “I will give up drinking,” “I will go to the gym more,” “I will spend more time studying”… Regardless of what it is, I can never stick to it! This year though, and although we’re now already 11 days into it, is different. How I didn’t come up with it before is a mystery to me…

As many of you hopefully know (although sometimes I forget myself) we’re now into 2012 – the year the Mayans have declared the end of the world. Potentially. Or something like that. I know we had a potential apocalypse last year as well, but in all fairness it came from a bible bashing American so you can forgive me for not holding my breath for it. Did anyone ever find him, out of interest? I can however forgive the sceptics for not believing this at all. Well, the sceptics and the general non-believers, who think we’re destined to rattle around on this rock for the remainder of eternity doing what we want with it – because that’s how it’s meant to be.


This isn’t something I just decided to live my life by, to clarify. I realise now that the 2012 theory has gone commercial, so I’m almost ready to drop it as a belief, before it reaches cliché status. (Just as the Lynx effect is non-existent, so is any chance of it happening if they decide to use it as a theme for their next special edition and resultant advertisement campaign.) December 21st marks the end of a 5,125 year cycle in the Mesmoamerican Long Count calendar. (Try saying that 5 times fast) Using various formulae and other such mathematical nonsense – I say nonsense because I don’t get it, I’m sure it’s very informative – it’s been predicted that there may be a cataclysmic astronomical event, or a change. No one has been able to confirm or deny this however.

We make a very selfish assumption: that we are meant to live here, and that we must make every effort to preserve the planet so that we can continue to exist as a species. That being the case, let’s ask the last civilisation to be wiped out with a global disaster shall we?

That’s right, we can’t, because they’re no longer with us. Anyone see a recurring theme here?

Yes, the ice caps are melting, and yes that means poor little Holland will one day be fully submerged. Personally, I don’t see how this is a problem from a preservation of species point of view, seeing as most Dutch folk have boats. However, the sea absorbs CO2 molecules from the air. We are pumping tonnes of the stuff into the atmosphere every day driving to work, putting the kettle on, and writing pish like this that we expect folk to read.We’re creating a supply/demand problem here, and any economist will tell you that this is not a balance you want to mess with. Hence the mess the UK economy is in. By borrowing more than we can afford and giving all our state benefits to those that don’t live here. (I can tell I’m going to wake up dead the day after I publish this.)

To compensate for this, what is the Earth actually doing: creating more sea water to absorb the CO2 by taking it out of storage, namely the ice caps. A double edged sword, it will create more means of removing CO2 from the atmosphere, but it’s also going to bump a load of us off in the process, slowing down the rate of production.

Although drowning isn’t high on my list of ways to go, part of me has accepted that one day this could possibly happen. There is absolutely nothing we can do about it, and unfortunately this is entirely down to the nature of our species. We have grown accustomed to life as we know it, with our luxury cars (I drive a supercharged Audi…I’m not giving that up for no Prius!), comfortable homes and endless gadgets that need electricity to make ’em go. Alas, culture change for us takes too long for us to make any foreseeable changes.

For this reason, my new years resolution is a simple one: take more chances. I’ve always played it safe, and as a result have led a fairly boring life so far. I’m still yet to fall in love for the first time, do something reckless and spend a horrifically drunk week in Ibiza with a few mates. I’m not talking about the serious stuff, like graduating and getting myself a decent job (although that is going to remain high on the priority list, in the off chance this is all a pipe dream of an ancient civilisation), because that’s all my life has been geared towards since I left school – and indeed a good few years before hand.

2012 is going to be a big year for me, with a few milestones coming. I just hope I can add a few of my own in there, and that it really isn’t the end of the world as we know it. At the end of the day, there is nothing we can do about it; we’ve made our beds, now we’re unfortunately going to have to sleep in them.